BFC 23

Went for the BFC (formally known as CFA) 23.
this time round was fun but quite slack, in terms of timing to me.
know many more people, especially games. (:
less people turn up? didn't see the familiar faces. ):
i think future BFCs have to get more girls. haha!
and less horny guys. *nods head*
Freds was the host.
and major changes to the new BFC!
outdoor cooking lessons, rock-climbing (belaying) lessons &......
almost got high elements lah! wasted.
this time round, there is a new type of facilitation skills:
the world cafe facilitation!
to me, i feel that this type is good but limitation is a small group and must have rotations.
so blur blur one. haha.
it was fun but shag, slept only at 4am to 7am. 3HRS!
and is super cold. is was like shivering and sleeping the whole night!
BUT...... it ended with a BBQ! (:
even though i paid $10 and ate only 1 hotdog and drumlet. tsk.
but i think it's good for the future-facs to eat first. (:
so lookiong forward to the next BFC. haha.

omg. now tired like shit. tomorrow kayaking again. (:
hopefully i can do the double pump or eskimo roll. haha!

truth or lie?

whenever people tell me lies, and i found out, they act as if nothing happen.
and instead ask me to join them. should I? or not?
not once, but many times. exposed your lies are nothing.
the fact is that you didn't feel anything.
it just shows me you all hate me.
if this is true, i will just leave. hope you all have fun.
without me. thanks.

SCSM 09

manage to finish my run.
exceed my expectations of timing.
expected to end like 4hrs or 4 and half hrs.
but i complete 3 hrs 46 mins. not bad.
kudos to myself for completing.
but next yr, i shall train to go for adidas sundown!
i will not join stand chart until they get adidas back. haha.

virginity.

ok. the title might be something wrong, but it isn't.
basically, it means first time to something or things you do.
so i got my first virgin trip (sounds wrong...) to...
1: sushi tei
2:sakae sushi
haha. u might find that i'm noob, cuz like such places nvr go before.
but is like wow to me. haha.
after eating sushi tei with brendan, jiande, shi jie and gayan, i feel that sakae *****!
haha. but the quality is different. way different.
but spend like $20+ on a dinner for both sakae and sushi tei, and diff. qualities.

UT grades are out. but it sucks.
except for water-base. at least a B.
not bad.
but need to work harder!
i need to achieve 5As for daily grade for each modules!

and lastly, stand chart this sun.
ytd, hurt my left calf (chinese is called la dao jing).
today, right calf almost cramp.
wonder how i going to survive this sun. omg!

FINA/ARENA Swimming World Cup 09!

decided to blog once again.
finally done with the IRRITATING SWC.
it has been taking my mind, sleep and life away.

but before this year SWC, remembering last year,
we are just still mere volunteers, or rather, baskets details.
within one year, 1 whole year, we now have become TOs.
what a drastic changes.
all thanks to Jane, the tu zi.
seriously, she has taught me things that can never be learnt in class.
this year of events was one of the fun times i had.
SNAG, SNSC... make me grow alot.
tolerating some joker's nonsense, learn to look at faces to do work.
it helps, really. it makes you want to beat up the person, but no choice.
then came AYG, this time round as Technical Officials.
a different perspections, and even this chance she gave it to us.
2 different type of volunteering.
after her resignation, here comes the shit.
SWC 09, if isn't for Jane, I would just quit off the committee.
she encourage me to take up the post.
a good experience.
i really agree to it.
one good experience and never you will want to take it anymore.
still call TO family.
i rather call it a group of TO.
when u need help, nobody helps.
and dare say a family.
being a new person to this event, i don't even know what problem i'm facing.
so how to identify the problem?
i will just make sure to shoot you down during the post mortem.

now, for the happy things.
make some friends from SWC, finally say Stephanie Au.
never saw her during AYG lah. omg.
all TO say she very chio.
ok, i agree with Uncle How that she is pretty.
haha. the most beautiful swimmer i ever saw. wow.
Mattew and I was competing how to know her.
we talk until i came out with the best thing to do.
haha.
my suggestion was to put a sticker of my number behind her card, so she will be able to see.
stupid right? haha.
but maybe next time, i will help SSA by welcoming the swimmers, den i want HK!
haha.

maybe is time for me learn to cope some stress.

money makes the world go around

ok. time to update after a long time.
lots of ups and downs. mainly downs.
too much thing to say, but i wouldn't say it here.

recently, money seems to be running away from me.
need more money for gears. seriously.
bikes, harness, carabiners, rashguard, tights. omg.
just too many things to buy. hais.

i just guess you 2 are together. if you both are, congrats. (:

fall for you.

i think i'm just falling for you.
the more i think, the more impossible it is.

what's wrong being blind?

some random happenings make me decided to blog cause i saw something that u wouldn't expect to happen everyday.
remembered the news on Singapore having the 1st guide dog for the blind?
ya. saw the guy brought the dog in today on the train.
basically, people is like shunning from the dog.
got some people give those "can bring the dog into train meh" look.
but some is nice to guide him.
the dog was so quiet throughout the train journey.
not a single bark.
and yet, people see it in a disgusted look.
why?
lucky the man was blind to see what's the expression of people.

feeling worst each day. never expected it to be turn out this way.
u might say me, but to me, i feel that he is even worst than me, and yet u treat him better.
maybe he doesn't have a family member that will betray him.
maybe... maybe......
i should just turn blind so that i can't see such things happening.

CFA 22+"Grape Juice"=FUN!

okay. ytd was shag. seriously.
why? haha.

went for sports climb on Sat.
den went home and pack before going for CFA.
upon reaching, i forgot to bring my shoes.
dammit it...
and they were having their role play.
haha. the time where everyone got high and disturb the appointed "facilitators".
rent a bicycle just to go area C pit 11 to pay qi hua money.
den help to make the BBQ.
we just kept BBQ-ing for the participants to eat.
den wait for tanny to come, so have to cycle to C 11 again.
send her there and went off.
notice that not many people came.
including Jane, was quite surprise cu she told me to go. lol.
when i went back, everyone was having fun.
help to BBQ before going to buy water again.
use Ben's bicycle though.
for the first time, i fell off a bicycle.
it never came across my mind.
maybe the water is just to unbalaced.
it always swerve me to the left, plus a moment of dreaming.
i fell.
i'm not afraid of hurting myself, but Ben's bicycle.
Adventure racer felling from bike is nothing. *just kidding*
when i take his bike up, OMG lah.
the front wheel turn 90 degrees.
which means the wheel is parallel to the handlebar.
i slowly walked back and when i reach back,
i saw Kah Hoe and James enjoying lah.
zz. they were having their steak BBQ.
washed my wounds, den i help myself with some "grape juice" and beef.
something came across my mind.
why not BBQ red wine with beef?
not ad eh? the idea just popped out, and i tried it imeediately.
haha. the taste was like in heaven. haha.
next time u all should just try it.
den when is time to sleep, they played a game called: 脱掉。
u all never guess wrongly, is really take off clothes etc.
watch them played, den not enough they include me also.
after 1 round, damn scared so i decided to sit aside to watch them. haha!
lend Mayb my pouch, cuz inside like got millions of tons of things.
got 1 guy on Mayb's team take off until left the pants.
which means underwear also off alr.
den they stop, cuz is like outside the chalet lah. omg.
den slacked until 1+am to around 2+am den decided to go and bathe.
the changing room was like shit lah. zz.
the tap is not working, drain is blocked, no doors etc.
stupid facilities, plus is damn smelly.
den went back. slacked again.
by the time 3.41am (i think) we just went to sleep.
so when 6am came, i continue to sleep until another 15 mins passed.
rinse my mouth and prepare for PT.
so this is the part shoes come in.
no shoe = barefeet do PT.
before we start running, i drank 2 cups of fruit punch.
as i run, i feel that i don't feel tired at all.
i really thought my body got some pre-problems.
ran around 4km? estimated i think.
from goldkist to bedok jetty, calculate yourself.
i really feel as if this was normal.
along the way, saw Hazel. she volunteer for the OSIM triathlon.
after running, i think that is the 2 cups of fruit punch help me.
sugar rush.
have breakfast and play games.
oh, did i told u a game called MRT?
haha. is nice slapping playing this game.
everyone choose a MRT, and the person beside the MRT called will slap the thighs until another MRT is called.
another game to break the ice and get to know the name.
didn't played but learnt more games alr.
so i help to clear the BBQ mess.
not all but some, to share soe workload.
cannot stand the shagged-ness so went to sleep.
sleep until is time to booked out.
den went to the beach to continue their last module, which is public speaking.
alot of them were from Uni, so they performance was quite impressive.
all their instructions were clear.
got to learn from them though. =X
and oh ya, did i mention that i saw Jane while cycling?
she was roller blading lah.
i still thought i saw the wrong person.
nvr go for BBQ and go roller-blading. not bad.
chat a few lines den went off alr.
by 5pm, we left the place.
walked to VJC the bus stop there.
saw Hazel, so take the same bus back.
sleep again. from Bedok Reservoir to Hougang.
reach the bus stop and decided to walk home.

Hair for Hope 09

after weeks of consideration, i finally decided...
thinking it like is end of the world.
when i was shaving ytd, many things rushed into my mind.
is time for me to change.
everything.
time for a new me.
i wanted to back out.
but since i agree to it, i should do it.
almost broke down, just didn't know why.
since a 4 yr old kid know what he is doing and doing it, i shldn't see the reason y i should stop.
after the shaving, i finally understand the children's pain.
having people staring at ur head, treating you as a social outcast.
good luck to all children with cancer. (:
i finally understand their feeling.

as i read through my sms again,
i feel disappointment gushing in.
" definitely still friends"... reading this line almost make me break down.
after a interference by ********, u nvr treat me as a friend.
ignoring, shooting and everything u did to hate someone.
just as i thought, i will have u as a true friend.
sadly, it has been and will be in my past.
thanks for the days that we chatted so happily.
i don't tink i will have another good friend like you.
in a meantime, ignoring will still be the best way to avoid.

help 101?

finally, 101 posts. haha.
hopefully it can last long.
learn from my classmate: "time is money, money is almost everything."
haha. soon, i will be tired of it. haha.

should i join stand chart again this year? 6th Dec.
wondering.

understand?

How can I expect others to understand me, when I choose to hold back and remain silent?

This thought leads on to a string of thoughts.

I'm too exhausted to elaborate anymore.

Maybe, it's just time to sit back and let life pass me by.

Cause I'm dead tired.

Of life. Of everything.
I JUST WANT TO DISAPPEAR, if only - for awhile.

Just let time settle everything and not care about everything else.

explosions of problems

frm what i knw, it seems that i'm just treated like a dog.
u say don't come means i don't come?
sorry, every people have their own stand.
i'm just don't want to continue quarrelling with you.
u don't understand me well enough.
i don't like to quarrel unless i really can't take it anymore.
if my absence can make you more happy, i will abide and disappear.

ayg 09

Finally, it came to an end.
It was a happy ending at first,
but somethings just happen.
i dunno why it problems is linked to me.
when esp someone say don't drag innocent ppl down.
shall nt elaborate since is abt AYG.
the hatred seems to get deeper with *ahem ahem*.
people left. and i think more to come. (:
like what people said, we do what is IN our JOBS SCOPE.
nothing else much to do,
and left so happy and nothing to do for the last finals. (:
did not managed to buy the mascot.
shld have ask Aloysius to get 1 of it frm ting wen. zz.
she won too much alr. haha.
i shall get the green lanyard also. (:
is nice! and is lime green! zz.

btw, good job everyone! after being stressed for the past 5 days.
G-DOUBLE O-D J-O-B, GOOD JOB, GOOD JOB! (:

to Amanda, i will help you find out the problems and what they said.
no worries. concentrate on ur studies and trainings.

i'm just an idiot.

i'm used to it.
my words were harsh.
i'm sorry.
i just don't know why i'm like that.
i'm just idiot who doesn't think before speaking.
hate me for all you all want.
i can't change myself, and adapt to all of you all.
i will just die.
you all just pray that i get H1N1 and die faster.